Panacea

via Daily Prompt: Panacea

Definition:

1.

a remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all.

2.

an answer or solution for all problems or difficulties
Oh, how I wish I had one of these for my troubles and tribulations right now. To finish and wrap up these struggles. A quick fix, an easy button, or even a fast forward so I don’t have to deal with the issues and I can go straight to the good parts.
In general, I think I am an OKAY adult. I can handle situations, problem solve, handle responsibility and deal with things fairly well. But the only times I really see myself fall back into child-like mindsets is when I’m faced with making hard decisions. Doing the right thing VS. doing the “easy” thing. I think I chose the easy thing too frequently. Hard decisions stress me out and I don’t like change.
As if I’m always looking for someone to make the hard decisions for me, I go to anyone and everyone with my stresses. I like to hear all points of view, to weigh all my options. But ultimately, I’m too scared to take the risk, so I never truly do. I may apply for the job that would require to me to move away from home, but I am relieved when I don’t hear back. I get excited with an interview, but then after the interview I shut down and second guess my motivation for it at all. Do I really want this job/relocation and everything associated with it? Or do I just want to not have my current job? Should I grab the bull by the horns and run with it, or continue grooming the horses until someone asks me to take one out for a slow trot?
Do I go for a full sprint or do I take baby steps?
If only I could have an easy way out of my situation, but at the moment it feels like there is no panacea for me at all. However, if I can’t make the hard decisions, I’ll never grow, right? The “easy way” will only get you so far, and maybe there’s more to see on the harder route. But what if both decisions are difficult?
I guess I’m a little stuck… again.

Author: shannon20something

City-living, Ontario Cottage-Country longing. Currently 21. Working multiple part time jobs. My problems are pretty minor when I think about them...

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